How To Sit With Someone Who’s Crying

Sitting with someone who is crying is one of the most intimate things you can do. It asks for presence without pressure, closeness without intrusion, and steadiness even when the moment feels raw.

Most people were never taught how to do this.

They were taught to soothe, distract, or fix.

But grief doesn’t want solutions - it wants company.

When someone cries in front of you, their nervous system is opening. Something inside them is unclenching. You’re witnessing an honest moment, not a crisis to resolve.

The first instinct is often to reach for words.

“It’s going to be okay.”

“You’re strong.”

“Don’t cry.”

“You’ll get through this.”

But crying isn’t a problem.

It’s a release.

A stabilising mechanism.

A natural response to emotional overwhelm.

What someone most needs is your quiet presence.

Sitting with a crying person often looks like:

• staying close without crowding

• allowing silence

• softening your energy

• slowing your breath

• letting the moment be uncomfortable

• not interrupting their release

• offering a hand, if appropriate, without insistence

The goal isn’t to stop the tears.

The goal is to make sure they don’t have to feel alone in them.

Crying is vulnerable. It exposes the raw, unguarded parts of a person. When you meet that vulnerability with steadiness, something healing happens. Their system recognises that it’s safe to feel. Safe to soften. Safe to let the emotion move through.

People often say afterward, “Thank you for just being there.”

Not “thank you for what you said.”

Not “thank you for fixing it.”

Just “thank you for being there.”

Your presence becomes a kind of anchor. It tells their system, “You don’t have to handle this alone.”

The most supportive thing you can do is match the pace of their emotions. If they’re quiet, stay quiet. If they speak, listen. If they need space, honour it. If they reach for you, be soft.

Crying is a language.

Presence is the response.

If you know someone who may benefit from breathwork for grief, or if you’d like guidance on how to support a loved one through something heavy, you’re welcome to explore my grief-tending breathwork sessions. They offer a gentle, embodied way for the nervous system to release some of what it carries.